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Confession of a church small group leader

Those of you who’ve been around this blog for awhile might remember when we started leading a small group at church.

confession small group1

We quit.

Our small group lost its fizz. Actually, it lost the members. Most people on the “roll” (I guess now it’s an email loop) didn’t attend meetings. We had two committed couples and one family moved to a different church. The whole time we met they told us they were not members and were still trying to find a regular church home. The other couple that invested time with our group came when they could.

When we contacted the church about a lack of involvement, they advised us to ask friends to join our group. Funny, but that’s the same response we had for four years of our small group trials. For some reason, it made me feel like being thrown into the other side of the dating pool. (Not that I’d experienced the other side of that – the asking side.) Who do I ask? Will they like me?  Will they say yes? Is there anyone even left to ask???

So we quit. Not in defeat, just realizing God closed that door.

We are not doing the small group leader thing anymore.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not still looking. I am. I want to connect. I want to do life with people.

Confession: Some days I think about our group and see all of the mistakes I made. The phone calls I didn’t make. OK – the fact that I didn’t even have the phone numbers of most small group members. That line of thinking drag my thoughts to the cusp of pure defeat. Probably even worse than that is when I see successful small groups and wonder why mine wasn’t. The twinge of jealousy reveals that deep longing to connect. I have to remind myself it was a journey for all of us. We felt the call and we obeyed. Time to move forward.

And God is opening doors I didn’t expect.

Uncomfortable doors –  leading us out of our comfort zone.

I know I’m not the only one who tried the whole small group thing and quit. BUT I WON’T GIVE UP. I value the people I met in small groups. I value the lesson’s learned. I’m excited for the days ahead.

Are you in a small group? What works for your group? What just isn’t working?

About Kimberly Vogel

I am a mom of four beautiful daughters, a writer, and a certified Early Childhood and Elementary Teacher who recently made the switch from teaching in a classroom to teaching her children at home. I am often found in the children’s area of my church where I volunteer and lead a children’s program. Writing is a natural outpouring of my love for my Savior. Follow along while I share my journey as a bridge builder with you. My prayer is that you start building bridges too!

3 responses »

  1. Hey Kimberly, I’m a small group leader also. Our local church’s CARE (Connect, Apply, Reach, Encourage) group ministry has a wonderful site with some resources you may find helpful. You are right you are not alone. Hugs to you and good for you for not giving up. =)
    Our mission statement is CARE groups exist to develop more fully devoted followers of Christ. We do this as leaders by creating a safe and consistent environment for life change to happen.
    Be encouraged! =)


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