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The Secret Way I Didn’t Honor my Husband on His Birthday

The Secret Way I Didn't Honor my Husband on His Birthday

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday. The week before, when we were discussing Birthday plans, he was sick and didn’t want to do anything on his birthday. We knew the kids had activities that night, so we planned to celebrate as a family on a different night. He didn’t even ask for his usual Birthday meal. (I shoulda clued in right then and there something was amiss.) The plans were to not do anything on his actual birthday and go out as a family on a different night of the week.

The night before, he mentioned how he probably should have planned on me cooking his usual meal – Roast, mashed potatoes, rolls and a green veggie (if you have to). But we knew it would be impossible since I would be gone until three or four and the girls would leave at six. On the way home from co op, the long day after a holiday break – with a stop for birthday present shopping, I decided to use one of those fast meat cookers and throw together a roast. By the time we reached we the grocery store (for those that know my quirks, this was well after my afternoon coffee time, and those that really know me forsee what’s coming – Mom missing her afternoon coffee = Mom tantrum time) I was in the zone. Crazy shopping cart lady. I probably should pause here to ask my daughter for forgiveness for running her down with a shopping cart. And my other daughter to forgive me for grabbing the shopping cart from her when she wasn’t running down the aisle fast enough… and… to anyone who encountered the evil eye… and… well, you get the picture.

This is where I didn’t honor my husband. I did not joyfully cook his meal. I did not joyfully shop for his meal. In fact, if he had seen me in the store, he would’ve asked to eat beans and rice.

All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil. Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred. A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15: 15-18

By the time he came home, the meal was cooked, (as in not raw, it wasn’t tasty – a roast really does need time and loving care. And that new quick cooker, I think it needs to find a new home. Back to the pressure cooker for my quick fixes.)  the table was set with candles and Christmas placemats, the kids going out were fed and had rides secured, and love notes marked his plate. (all thanks to my girls!) I had consumed my coffee and tantrum time was over. All appeared picture perfect. Except for my heart. It was covered with a veil of guilt and shame. But my husband, my rock, gave me a gift on his birthday. Understanding and forgiveness.

The good news – I have a new day. I can honor my husband every day, not just outwardly on his birthday.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 25-26, 30

Happy Birthday Honey, and thanks for being you, my best friend. I love you!

About Kimberly Vogel

I am a mom of four beautiful daughters, a writer, and a certified Early Childhood and Elementary Teacher who recently made the switch from teaching in a classroom to teaching her children at home. I am often found in the children’s area of my church where I volunteer and lead a children’s program. Writing is a natural outpouring of my love for my Savior. Follow along while I share my journey as a bridge builder with you. My prayer is that you start building bridges too!

4 responses »

  1. Oh, man….I totally hear ya, especially at this time of year. LOVED the verses you included, they really touched me.
    And I get the coffee absence-induced meltdown, too! Thank God for grace!

  2. I totally get this whole scene, post coffee absence! Thank God for His grace, and the grace He bestows on our husbands, right?
    I was touched by the verses, too. Thanks, Kimberly!

  3. I don’t drink coffee, but definitely got the last minute theme. I had many of those before my husband left me to be with our heavenly Father. If George could come back to his earthly home, what a different wife I would be. All you women who still have your husbands in your lives, please don’t take them for granted. It’s never too late to honor them.


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